DAY 2 of '40 DAYS OF FACING FEAR'
The below is from the original Facebook post of March 2nd 2017:
Today's challenge was related to CONTROL and PAIN - so, really, killing two birds with one stone. At 4am I woke up with the brain wave to get up at 6am in order to get to a gym class that I wouldn't normally go to at 6.30am. It didn't matter what it was. Part of the challenge was not knowing what it was - releasing my lack of control and desire to know what I will be 'putting myself through'. The other part of the challenge was, when I did know what it was, to commit to doing it 100%, even if it may cause me pain (whether today or, quite likely, tomorrow). As it happened it was a PUMP CLASS (i.e. lifting weights). For those that know me, my preferences are for yoga, Pilates, dancing or walking/running in nature... not lifting weights. I'm definitely not a 'legs day' kind of gal. I've been skipping them for years. So, this was definitely outside of my comfort zone: trusting that I could handle the uncertainty and physical challenge and sticking with it 100%.
I'd hoped to get photographic evidence of being at the class, but as I didn't take my phone out until everyone was packing weights away, here's a quickly-taken, below-average quality photo of the weights wall with an unsuspecting guy going to put his weights away (sorry not sorry, random guy).
It already feels liberating deliberately doing something uncomfortable/that makes me a bit afraid (think: cold sweat starting to emerge, self-doubt starting to creep in etc). Today has also been insightful learning about fear: whether it is the thing or action itself that we are afraid of, or whether it is a universal, cultural/societal or personal value or emotion that we fear. Thank you to Ganeshji for sharing with me Michelle Poler's TEDx Talk of '100 Days Without Fear' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dbNRGiqaaM). It seems that she and I share some similar desires and determination to grow as humans and experience life more fully - and, yes, she did it 2 years ago. From her experiences of doing something everyday for 100 days that frightened her she learned that it is really 7 FEELINGS that we fear (not the actual thing that we fear). For those that are interested, they are: (1) pain, (2) danger, (3) disgust, (4) embarassment, (5) rejection, (6) loneliness and (7) control. Can anyone else identify with these?
So, WHAT'S NEXT?? I've been creating a list of ideas throughout the day and compiling ideas that friends have been sending through to me on to it. One friend even suggested posing nude at a life drawing class. Another suggested taking this literally and doing a marathon scary movie watching session. I honestly don't know which one I'd prefer more... Friends that know my complete aversion to scary movies - to the extent that I'll sometimes read the IMDB synopsis before watching the movie so that I know when the scary parts are coming up - will understand this...
Ideas, suggestions, encouragement etc are always appreciated.
With so much love and gratitude <3 xx